How Women Can Reign in Business with the Two Sisters: Vulnerability & Visibility
Being vulnerable is equal to being exposed. At least in my highly empathic, introverted world. And being exposed is never good.
That’s what I told myself for years.
My trauma-addled brain couldn’t see vulnerability differently. Until I began to build a business.
For me, vulnerability felt dangerous, like something I might not come back from. The act was a risk that didn’t feel safe to take.
However, in business, being vulnerable can be liberating. When you see it as a strength, not a risk, it frees you. And it will attract your people.
If being vulnerable feels dangerous to you, that’s just your inner chimp talking. That’s the part of your brain in charge of survival and it can NEVER allow you to be vulnerable.
Your chimp cannot be rational, so you have to calm and nurture it to get past it.
The next time your inner chimp starts to waive its arms and throw branches or rocks at the harsh comment you received under your latest video, just imagine hugging your chimp. Smooth your hand over the top of its head, and whisper “It’s okay. We’re safe.” Seriously. Give it a try.
It’s a proven technique in mind management. Mind management is a crucial skill to gain when building a business. Starting a business dredges up fears, doubts, and worries that can derail you and prevent your success.
Going through the motions of marketing and business growth can trigger feelings of not being good enough, not being worthy, and just plain less than. On top of all of that, you’re supposed to be candid, open about yourself, and share aspects of your life you may not have ever shared before.
Business is the greatest personal development journey you will ever take.
The journey can help you experience vulnerability as liberating, a show of strength and inner power, and a tool for incredible impact.
Vulnerability is your bridge to every person in the world who needs you.
It can be the golden thread that grabs your soon-to-be clients, pulling them into your world.
And it can be the thing that makes you stand apart in a sea of competition.
Vulnerability shows you’re real.
A real human with a fierce strength to risk your heart hurting in front of others.
Human connection will always outperform any marketing strategy ten times over.
Some of history's most beloved leaders knew the power of vulnerability. They backed it with incredible strength.
Take Eleanor Roosevelt as an example. She was very open about her insecurities and struggles as First Lady. She spoke about this publicly and shared her deepest doubts in her writing. She wrote, candidly, about her insecurities around her looks. She struggled to fit into society's expectations of her time.
In a 1940 column, she wrote about her struggles with public speaking. She feared being judged and not meeting others' expectations. Sound familiar?
Oh, how little we change.
In publicly expressing her deepest fears and doubts, she became relatable. And people loved her for it.
If you're vulnerable, you aren't taking a scary risk. You're letting people see a part of themselves in you, so they can relate to you. Then, they are no longer alone.
We need more heart-centered, relatable leaders in the world. Those who care enough to expose their truest selves as a breadcrumb trail for the rest of us to follow.
The more relatable you are, the more people talk about you. And the more they talk about you, the more visible you and your business become.
I know, I know. It feels so uncomfortable. And as we age, we may feel less confident in our looks. This is especially true amidst a sea of young influencers. We doubt whether anyone will want to listen or whether we’ll just become more and more invisible.
If you're an older woman starting a business, don't see vulnerability as a risk. Don't fear visibility, either; they are sisters.
Vulnerability and Visibility, Two Sisters
If ever there were two forces conditioned by society to be kept apart and out of the public eye, they would be called Vulnerability and Visibility. Like sisters, each holds a unique power that is strengthened through their bond.
Together, they have the potential to transform how we show up in the world.
Change how you show up in the world by taking small steps to begin experiencing vulnerability and visibility as an exercise in freedom. (Especially if you’re coming from a long career or have been in the corporate world.) Freedom to be 100% you. Freedom to speak from the heart. Freedom to be human.
Brené Brown has a well-known Ted Talk called The Power of Vulnerability. Her very raw and real conversations have inspired millions worldwide. She points out that vulnerability is the human experience. It creates meaning and connection.
Let’s be honest, a polished facade can feel safe. But, we miss the real you. We can't connect with you. And when it comes to you vs. your competitor, I’m going to choose the one I connect with every time.
So choose. Who will you be? What power will you tap into? Which will you lead with: Fear or Fierceness?
Fear is the antithesis of growth. Or the “mind-killer.” It keeps you locked away, small, and never truly seen.
Fear whispers that being vulnerable equals being weak and unprofessional. In truth, it’s one of the strongest expressions of leadership you can offer.
In the book, Dune, Frank Herbert’s character, Lady Jessica, trained in the ways of the Bene Gesserit, mother of Paul Atreides, recites:
“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
So ditch the fear.
From this point forward, I want you to see vulnerability as a strategic tool that builds relate-ability and meaning in a connection-anemic world.
When you are vulnerable, your clients will be too. It will lead to a deeper transformation.
When you are vulnerable, you dispel myths of shame.
When you are vulnerable, you open the door for others to experience the same liberation.
So, here are 3 steps you can take today to build a resonant business through vulnerability and visibility:
Step 1: Start with Self-Reflection
Small steps can help. Reflect on what you're afraid to share. This can ease you into the vulnerability your people want. Look for women who have openly shared the same fears.
Journal about past experiences where being vulnerable led to positive outcomes.
Step 2: Share Your Story
Maya Angelou shared her traumatic experiences to connect with people. Her stories and poetry gave rise to a powerful, deeply resonating voice for civil rights.
She empowered others to find strength in their stories.
Story holds power. Share yours and know that someone else will hear it and relate. Your words will comfort them. They may feel empowered to act and create the change they want.
Use this simple story framework:
-
The event (the incident, time, or memory)
-
The fear (the underlying fear that you never told anyone about)
-
The pit (deepest, darkest moment)
-
The rise (the catalyst to keep going, change something, or not give up)
-
The slip (we all fall back down)
-
The victory (lesson, success, positive outcome, or understanding)
Step 3: Show Up as You Are
Drop the professional hat. Have real, raw, down-to-earth conversations. Start having conversations meant for the sofa, not the podium. Show your greatest strength - vulnerability.
Perfect is never real. And helping another person requires us to be brave and exposed. As women in business, we have the power to make the act of being vulnerable a liberating force.
Bring the two sisters into your business.
Your business will become stronger, more successful, and rooted in the real you, the one we’re all waiting for.
Recent articles
Michelle Sera
Hi, I'm Michelle Sera, head coach and founder of ElevatedMind®.
I'm also a best-selling author, Certified Happiness Coach, Marketing Mentor, Freedom Formula Facilitator, 7-Figure Copywriter, (human, dog, and cat) mama, farmer, gardener, and Dragon Boat racer.